Sorry for the wrong information! You may purchase the book on link below!
CreateSpace eStore: https://www.createspace.com/4718479
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Saturday, November 22, 2014
The Launch!
Author & Blogger: Lisa M. Vezeau-Allen
Quote from a recent reader: I read this book in just under three hours. What a wonderful teaching tool, not only to support families but also to educate extended family and others. As I turned each page, I could see our little cousin, and will be able to understand him so much better with the words that you shared. Patience is so important.
Find The Purple Notebook: www.createspacecom/471449
or download to Kindle www.amazon.com/dp/B00OV1ZN3I
Monday, October 27, 2014
It is Published!
After many hours pouring over drafts, making changes and agonizing if it was perfect (well, it isn't, and really nothing is), I hit the approval button and "The Purple Notebook" is completed!
I cannot express how I felt with those two covers firmly grasped between my hands, it reminded me of how I felt with each new baby that I held in my arms. Our story is told, it needed to be told.
I think it was part of my process in dealing with my son's Autism and also assuring other parents and caregivers that it isn't easy and that some things work, and some things do not work.
I am proud of those pages, each word, each new paragraph and Aidan's quotes that make is so real to me, to everyone.
Check it out at: https://www.createspace.com/471479
I am glad that after the many rejections or simply no responses from publishers, I went the self-publishing route. I cannot thank my editor and friend, Theodore Syrette enough for his love, his encouragement and his corrections.
Enjoy it my readers!
I cannot express how I felt with those two covers firmly grasped between my hands, it reminded me of how I felt with each new baby that I held in my arms. Our story is told, it needed to be told.
I think it was part of my process in dealing with my son's Autism and also assuring other parents and caregivers that it isn't easy and that some things work, and some things do not work.
I am proud of those pages, each word, each new paragraph and Aidan's quotes that make is so real to me, to everyone.
Check it out at: https://www.createspace.com/471479
I am glad that after the many rejections or simply no responses from publishers, I went the self-publishing route. I cannot thank my editor and friend, Theodore Syrette enough for his love, his encouragement and his corrections.
Enjoy it my readers!
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Walk in Their Shoes
I am a Foundation Board representative (president, actually) for the Children's Treatment Centre where my son receives services. We service children and youth from birth to age 18 with varying disabilities and I am proud to support all dealing with a hurdle in life, not just Autism.
Our local Rotary Association holds an annual golf tournament that the Foundation has been recipients of for 2 years running. Like most golf tournaments the beer flows freely and the participants are generally more concerned about their swing than the cause, and that is ok. We need the golfers to support and enjoy the day attempting to get that small white ball into a designated hole on the green.
Prior to allowing our hungry and hot and sweaty golfers to begin digging in to their well-deserved meal I am on the agenda to thank them on behalf of the charity-of-choice that I represent. I always "wing" my few words and preparing a statement prior to speaking has never worked for me.
I thanked for them for their gift of time and contribution, but I asked for a gift in return. The gift that I requested from this room of exhausted golfers and the gift I am asking from all of you, is the gift of kindness and understanding for all those dealing with the challenges of disabilities. Take a moment to pause and reflect upon the struggles that they and their families must face in daily life.
After my speech a gentleman came up to me and thanked me, and shared that he has a child with Down's Syndrome. It proves that by acknowledging their difficulties, even in a small way, can make a huge impact.
Our local Rotary Association holds an annual golf tournament that the Foundation has been recipients of for 2 years running. Like most golf tournaments the beer flows freely and the participants are generally more concerned about their swing than the cause, and that is ok. We need the golfers to support and enjoy the day attempting to get that small white ball into a designated hole on the green.
Prior to allowing our hungry and hot and sweaty golfers to begin digging in to their well-deserved meal I am on the agenda to thank them on behalf of the charity-of-choice that I represent. I always "wing" my few words and preparing a statement prior to speaking has never worked for me.
I thanked for them for their gift of time and contribution, but I asked for a gift in return. The gift that I requested from this room of exhausted golfers and the gift I am asking from all of you, is the gift of kindness and understanding for all those dealing with the challenges of disabilities. Take a moment to pause and reflect upon the struggles that they and their families must face in daily life.
After my speech a gentleman came up to me and thanked me, and shared that he has a child with Down's Syndrome. It proves that by acknowledging their difficulties, even in a small way, can make a huge impact.
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Transitions, Technology, Tantrums and Time
The end of the school year marks freedom from routines, early mornings and the recess bell. Children are thrilled and parents shudder at the thought of having to keep their offspring occupied for two months. For children on the Spectrum the elation of no rushing for the bus in the early hours is a short-lived emotion.
Aidan is a child who would benefit from year-round school, with breaks (because we all need the occasional day in our pj's), but the long expanse of the summer creates difficulties for him and for us as parents. Negative behaviours started immediately after school was done. We live in a community that has limited programming (well, basically none) for children with disabilities for the summer, so we have to be creative and prudent with both time and budget.
Aidan's solution to fill his "flex-time" was to emerge into the world of his tablet and the internet. His ability to focus and to be pleasant was diminishing and we were dealing with a situation similar to a toddler in the "terrible two and three's" phase. He was obsessed with the constant need for technology and the more time he had on computers or other devices, the worse his behaviour became. We cut it off, completely.
Aidan's technology was taken away for the entire month of July. The outcome was that he engaged with us more, he went out of his way to start conversations and he was generally calmer and happier. I dreaded August 1st, the day when his "technology" was being returned to him.
Two things Aidan focuses on is time and limits, so his technology was returned to him with a schedule. Thirty minutes in the morning and thirty minutes in the afternoon. He polices himself (and we all keep a check on it) and so far it is working (well, for the past three days anyway).
Good luck with your summer plans everyone!
Aidan is a child who would benefit from year-round school, with breaks (because we all need the occasional day in our pj's), but the long expanse of the summer creates difficulties for him and for us as parents. Negative behaviours started immediately after school was done. We live in a community that has limited programming (well, basically none) for children with disabilities for the summer, so we have to be creative and prudent with both time and budget.
Aidan's solution to fill his "flex-time" was to emerge into the world of his tablet and the internet. His ability to focus and to be pleasant was diminishing and we were dealing with a situation similar to a toddler in the "terrible two and three's" phase. He was obsessed with the constant need for technology and the more time he had on computers or other devices, the worse his behaviour became. We cut it off, completely.
Aidan's technology was taken away for the entire month of July. The outcome was that he engaged with us more, he went out of his way to start conversations and he was generally calmer and happier. I dreaded August 1st, the day when his "technology" was being returned to him.
Two things Aidan focuses on is time and limits, so his technology was returned to him with a schedule. Thirty minutes in the morning and thirty minutes in the afternoon. He polices himself (and we all keep a check on it) and so far it is working (well, for the past three days anyway).
Good luck with your summer plans everyone!
Monday, June 30, 2014
Chapter 11: The Dream
"I want to be a famous painter like Claude Monet"
The end chapter of this book has been a struggle for me, mainly due to the fact that living with Autism never ends. The pages do not slam shut between the covers, it is always open at various places, creating cracks in the binding. Travelling home from a weekend trip that was especially difficult for Aidan and created added stress for me, I had a moment to pause as we cruised on the highway. My professional and voluntary life has always involved the arts in some capacity. I am a firm believer that we all need some access to art in our lives (any discipline) to aspire and dream. We all need to dream.
On a historical day in August of 1963, Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream; a dream for equality and social justice. His “I Have a Dream Speech” resounded the brutal realities of that era in America. One of King Jr.'s dreams was, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”
My dream is that the world will understand our citizens with Autism and treat them fairly and with humanity.
What does Aidan dream about? He will recite outlandish tales some mornings of elaborate nightmares that typically involve a favourite movie or literary character or two. Does he dream? Does he aspire? His current career aspirations are to be a: Nascar driver (courtesy movie Cars), a hockey player for the Red Wings (blame his father, a Red Wings fan), a chicken farmer (Chicken Run movie) - and the list changes as do his current preferences. He has also expressed wanting to be a famous painter like Claude Monet, that was soon after a visit to the Royal Ontario Museum. (I prefer that one)
What he will be in adulthood is hopefully the result of this dreams and wants. We strive to help him understand them and realize them. Aidan’s story needs to be told, he is doing it through his notes to me. He is helping me achieve my dreams, and I can only hope to help him to reach his.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
The Scream
For many on the spectrum extreme reactions occur during somewhat everyday situations. My son, Aidan is a screamer. That blood-curdling sound that you feel right down to your toes. The decibel levels and regularity fluctuates, but it is an issue we deal with regularly.
According to Edvard Munch his inspiration for this series happened on an evening stroll:
One evening I was walking along a path, the city was on one side and the fjord below. I felt tired and ill. I stopped and looked out over the fjord—the sun was setting, and the clouds turning blood red. I sensed a scream passing through nature; it seemed to me that I heard the scream. I painted this picture, painted the clouds as actual blood. The color shrieked. This became The Scream.
Munch's observations might give some insight into the reactions from my son and many of those who deal with sudden outbursts. His interpretation has an artist have insight into my son's reactions to his triggers. His shrieking sky is the sound of babies crying. It is ironic that Aidan loves the impressionist era in art and is a proud owner of a replica of "Starry Night" by Van Gogh on his wall. Perhaps we should add an Munch to his budding collection.
According to Edvard Munch his inspiration for this series happened on an evening stroll:
One evening I was walking along a path, the city was on one side and the fjord below. I felt tired and ill. I stopped and looked out over the fjord—the sun was setting, and the clouds turning blood red. I sensed a scream passing through nature; it seemed to me that I heard the scream. I painted this picture, painted the clouds as actual blood. The color shrieked. This became The Scream.
Munch's observations might give some insight into the reactions from my son and many of those who deal with sudden outbursts. His interpretation has an artist have insight into my son's reactions to his triggers. His shrieking sky is the sound of babies crying. It is ironic that Aidan loves the impressionist era in art and is a proud owner of a replica of "Starry Night" by Van Gogh on his wall. Perhaps we should add an Munch to his budding collection.
Monday, May 19, 2014
1130 Days ago
I attend far too many meetings, forums, conferences, information sessions; whatever you wish to title them. I was perusing through my note section on my ipad and discovered this list, titled "Breakout 1" dated April 15, 2011; 1,130 days ago. My few bits from whatever and wherever this interaction took place.
Breakout 1
Integrated approaches to autism services
Public education and awareness of spectrum disorders
Collaboration of research outcomes to create realistic change of service delivery
Patient based research, testimonials, not science labs
Give them what they need, not what you think they need (patient based)
Listen to community and align priorities
My numbered responses, from today:
1. Do we really integrate? The services in my province are segregated & at any one time you could be dealing with a multiple of publicly funded agencies, and that does not include private providers, educators and daycare providers
2. Autism awareness campaigns have been initiated, but do we have engagement of our public? They may donate money at a cash check-out and maybe even attend a World Autism Awareness Day event, but do they "get it"? (case in point, Doug Ford's latest and greatest headlines)
3. Yes, yes, yes!!! Not just research into the cause, but let's quantitatively measure results from a vast cross section what intervention programs truly achieve the best results
4. Ask the questions? Is this working, why or why not? Do not rely upon reports from the givers of the programs, ask the recipients
5. Where are the gaps? What is missing? What is working?
6. The Autism community is all of us: parents, siblings, teachers, employers, municipalities, service organizations- all need consultation to give those on the Spectrum a fair chance to succeed.
We need to continue communicating our needs and those of our children and adults on the spectrum.
Breakout 1
Integrated approaches to autism services
Public education and awareness of spectrum disorders
Collaboration of research outcomes to create realistic change of service delivery
Patient based research, testimonials, not science labs
Give them what they need, not what you think they need (patient based)
Listen to community and align priorities
My numbered responses, from today:
1. Do we really integrate? The services in my province are segregated & at any one time you could be dealing with a multiple of publicly funded agencies, and that does not include private providers, educators and daycare providers
2. Autism awareness campaigns have been initiated, but do we have engagement of our public? They may donate money at a cash check-out and maybe even attend a World Autism Awareness Day event, but do they "get it"? (case in point, Doug Ford's latest and greatest headlines)
3. Yes, yes, yes!!! Not just research into the cause, but let's quantitatively measure results from a vast cross section what intervention programs truly achieve the best results
4. Ask the questions? Is this working, why or why not? Do not rely upon reports from the givers of the programs, ask the recipients
5. Where are the gaps? What is missing? What is working?
6. The Autism community is all of us: parents, siblings, teachers, employers, municipalities, service organizations- all need consultation to give those on the Spectrum a fair chance to succeed.
We need to continue communicating our needs and those of our children and adults on the spectrum.
Sunday, April 20, 2014
End of Life
End of Life
This is not an easy topic to discuss. When you have a special needs child in your life, it is a necessary conversation that must happen, between caregivers, siblings and extended family members. I initially did not consider this subject for the book, until Aidan and I were asked to present at a local University class with another parent. It was the conversation after our talk to the students that stressed the importance of this topic to be in the book. It has also been the most difficult to write.
A friend who follows the teachings of Buddhism, explained to me that the translation of worry in the meditations she follows is strangling. Worry is my constant companion and the image of it strangling me suddenly became very vivid to me. What happens to Aidan after I die has kept me up at night, his future when my husband and I are gone is one of the singularly biggest fears I face.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Communication 101 With Your Spectrum Child
Author's Note: When I was drafting this segment for my book, the constant playback in my head was the scene from the Peanut's cartoons with their teacher - we never heard any words from her, just noise. Think of the noise our children must decipher on a daily basis. This is another excerpt from my book, "The Purple Notebook," it is a piece of work that is constantly evolving, as my son is changing and growing.
You have to dig deeper when dealing with individuals on the spectrum. We live in an
environment that demands instant gratification. People with Autism do not follow the proposed rules of engagement. Just the sheer speed that a typically normal functioning person conducts daily interactions, does not translate to most of those on the spectrum.
This inherent delay in their processing can challenge a caregivers patience with simple requests such as, “Do you want toast or cereal for breakfast?” The Autistic child, hears the question, then must untangle the words, ponder their decision and give a response. The clock can tick away for a minute or two, then, hopefully you will gain an answer. Trust me, most
mornings, I am not a very patient mother. One sin we are all guilty of, is asking the question again, 10 seconds later, because we haven’t gotten our “normal” instant answer.
mornings, I am not a very patient mother. One sin we are all guilty of, is asking the question again, 10 seconds later, because we haven’t gotten our “normal” instant answer.
An example:
Aidan, do you want toast or cereal for breakfast?
Aidan, do you want cheerios or raisin bran?
Hey, you are going to be late, what do you want?
If I waited about 30-60 seconds after I asked the first question, I would have gotten
my answer. Sometimes, I need to repeat the question, but I wait until at least 60-75 seconds have ticked along. By continually asking questions, because of our need for immediate responses, it is lost - I am just making noise and my son has no clue what is expected of him.
Learning to wait is very difficult, it is not our norm. However, answering even simple
questions in a timely fashion is not going to be their norm. So you have to re-educate
yourself on the art of conversation. I count to 60, slowly, in my head after I ask Aidan
a question. It helps me to stay focused and gives him the time he needs to give me an
answer. It does not always work, but learning to pause has been tremendous in our
communication with each other and those around us.
A critical aspect for children on the Spectrum to engage in successful communication is letting family and friends know. Be open with those around you, about your child’s autism, you are not helping them succeed by not being frank about it. I have travelled with Aidan through airports and train stations, crowds of people streaming past us and when approaching a security check or even a front desk clerk at a hotel, I state, “My son has autism” and I have never had any issues. Autism is invisible and it is our duty, as caregivers, to let people know what they are dealing with.
From my experiences, there is not any one book, website, or organization that can guarantee a “quick-fix “ when faced with the realities of Autism. I have yet to find a band-aid big enough to cover the wound. I recall one of Aidan’s early teachers, who later became worker and friend, shared with me that when she explained Aidan’s Autism to her husband, his response was, “Well, how do we fix it? Make him better.”
As parents and caregivers that is what we automatically do - wipe a tear, brush off the dirt, plant a kiss on the “boo-boo.” Not the case when the scrape is the Spectrum.
This book does not promise anything - other than a very open and honest telling of my experiences with an Autistic son. I am proud to share some of Aidan’s words with all of you, they will give you a glimpse into the world of your “average” boy on the Spectrum. He is not a genius, his special gift, is his ability to let us into his reality. Getting to this point with Aidan and him gaining the ability to express himself has been a long road, it did not happen automatically. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small they may appear initially. Progress needs to start somewhere. Just rolling a ball on the floor and encouraging Aidan to roll it back was a challenge, and eventually he grabbed the ball and sent to back to me. A triumph! So cherish those moments, our Autistic children have to work so hard, and that gets forgotten.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Rainbows, Reflection and Ridiculousness
Our Rainbow "Flag"
.JPG) |
| Original by Aidan |
A trip to Ottawa, our nation's capital back in 2012, included leisurely moments just strolling down the streets and discovering new shops to browse. Many had a small rainbow sticker placed on front doors or windows and Aidan asked me why they were there. I simply stated that the rainbows were there because the store owners welcomed EVERYONE into their establishment. When we arrived home a few days later, he painted this picture and it has remained a permanent fixture on his wall.
The rainbow belongs to all. It represents kindness and acceptance and non-judgement. It is for all marginalized populations to show the support their community has for them. I don't know if Aidan truly understands what it means to be gay, but he does realize what it means to be different from the norm we consider in our society.
I applaud Calgary, Edmonton, Montreal, Ottawa, St. John's and Vancouver for flying the rainbow flag at their City Halls and Provincial Legislative buildings, and all other cities in both Canada and the United States who have followed in example. If one Autistic boy can reflect and understand the meaning of acceptance, I think we can show the same wisdom that he has shown to us with his rainbow.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
The Guide
I recently attended a conference held by the Ontario Hospital Association on Social Media in our healthcare system #smhc2014. It confirmed to me what my goals are for this blog, my book and my son - we need to keep the conversation going.
The common theme amongst all the presenters was the importance of Peer to Peer interactions. Whether it is a chat room to support cancer patients or a Facebook group of teens suffering from acne - sharing experiences, both successes and failures helps us to realize we are not alone.
I have often said that my son, Aidan is my guide through the Autism maze, but we need to also help guide each other.
Follow me, comment on my posts - we need to all be "tour guides" together.
Lisa
The common theme amongst all the presenters was the importance of Peer to Peer interactions. Whether it is a chat room to support cancer patients or a Facebook group of teens suffering from acne - sharing experiences, both successes and failures helps us to realize we are not alone.
I have often said that my son, Aidan is my guide through the Autism maze, but we need to also help guide each other.
Follow me, comment on my posts - we need to all be "tour guides" together.
Lisa
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
How's your trip going?
Aidan has mastered the art of email! While we consider the flow of back and forth conversation to be purely verbal, adding how we connect through technology is equally important. Think of how we communicate on a daily basis, it is more than likely that we send a quick text or email. So while you are working with your Spectrum child, do not dismiss the importance of electronic messaging.
Enjoy our note from Aidan, another addition to the Purple Notebook.
Dear Mom & Dad,
Enjoy our note from Aidan, another addition to the Purple Notebook.
Dear Mom & Dad,
I hope you are having a great trip to Boulder, Colorado so far. I wonder what you two are doing today? You have only two days left of your vacation. Mom, I can't wait to see what kind of book you got me at the book store yesterday.
Love,Aidan
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