As a mother of an almost 13 year old boy on the Spectrum, friendships and the rules of engagement are a constant worry and concern. To deal with stress I employ copious amounts of yoga and red wine (not in any particular order), and I write. I strive to give Aidan social opportunities within his own age appropriate peer group, thinking that is what I should be doing.
I went back to his oral presentation in 2013 and he discusses his friends and friendships, and the statement that was my "wow" moment is that he "cares about everyone." Aidan does not discriminate or judge his friendships. Do they enjoy Winnie the Pooh, Pixar Movie trivia and Snoopy? That is all he needs. Race, religion, age, sex - he does not "see" it and really doesn't care.
He attends regular "public" school, is in grade 7 and has a group of guys that are his protectors and friends. They sit at lunch together, they watch out for him and they have his "back." Does he initiate social interactions outside of school? Nope. He tends to gravitate toward situations that I place him in - if I am helping a friend with their wee one, he comes along.
Most 13 year olds would not want to hang with a 6 year old, or 9 or 10 year old. They would not be within their socially acceptable network. Aidan loves his little friends and has an opportunity to be the "helper" rather than the one that is usually needing assistance. He shows patience and caring and can carry on a conversation about Peppa Pig or Sesame Street without pausing to consider if it is "cool" to do that.
He truly does care about everyone. My hope is that everyone will see his gift of love, acceptance and no judgement and care about him.
