Chapter 11: The Dream

"I want to be a famous painter like Claude Monet"

The end chapter of this book has been a struggle for me, mainly due to the fact that living with Autism never ends.  The pages do not slam shut between the covers, it is always open at various places, creating cracks in the binding.  Travelling home from a weekend trip that was especially difficult for Aidan and created added stress for me, I had a moment to pause as we cruised on the highway. My professional and voluntary life has always involved the arts in some capacity.  I am a firm believer that we all need some access to art in our lives (any discipline) to aspire and dream.  We all need to dream.

On a historical day in August of 1963, Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream; a dream for equality and social justice.  His “I Have a Dream Speech” resounded the brutal realities of that era in America.  One of King Jr.'s dreams was, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”  

My dream is that the world will understand our citizens with Autism and treat them fairly and with humanity.  

What does Aidan dream about? He will recite outlandish tales some mornings of elaborate nightmares that typically involve a favourite movie or literary character or two.  Does he dream? Does he aspire? His current career aspirations are to be a:  Nascar driver (courtesy movie Cars), a hockey player for the Red Wings (blame his father, a Red Wings fan), a chicken farmer (Chicken Run movie) - and the list changes as do his current preferences.  He has also expressed wanting to be a famous painter like Claude Monet, that was soon after a visit to the Royal Ontario Museum.  (I prefer that one)

What he will be in adulthood is hopefully the result of this dreams and wants.  We strive to help him understand them and realize them.  Aidan’s story needs to be told, he is doing it through his notes to me.  He is helping me achieve my dreams, and I can only hope to help him to reach his.  

The Scream

For many on the spectrum extreme reactions occur during somewhat everyday situations.  My son, Aidan is a screamer.  That blood-curdling sound that you feel right down to your toes.  The decibel levels and regularity fluctuates, but it is an issue we deal with regularly.

According to Edvard Munch his inspiration for this series happened on an evening stroll:

One evening I was walking along a path, the city was on one side and the fjord below. I felt tired and ill. I stopped and looked out over the fjord—the sun was setting, and the clouds turning blood red. I sensed a scream passing through nature; it seemed to me that I heard the scream. I painted this picture, painted the clouds as actual blood. The color shrieked. This became The Scream.

Munch's observations might give some insight into the reactions from my son and many of those who deal with sudden outbursts.  His interpretation has an artist have insight into my son's reactions to his triggers.  His shrieking sky is the sound of babies crying.  It is ironic that Aidan loves the impressionist era in art and is a proud owner of a replica of "Starry Night" by Van Gogh on his wall.  Perhaps we should add an Munch to his budding collection.